So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
