before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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