I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm drive I can fine osifer
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
