He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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