I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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