Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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