i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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