I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We are all done wearing pants today
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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