So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize