he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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