She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
