Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I CAN MOONWALK!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
