i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
