Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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