As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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