How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
