Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize