so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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