Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
