Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
