My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize