Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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