Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
