Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
