you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
