New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
