I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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