He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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