dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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