He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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