I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
