She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize