Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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