My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize