my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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