I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
