I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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