I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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