I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
