This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
A+ Viking dick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize