and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Someone shattered a urinal.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
