its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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