I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
