girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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