I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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