just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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