you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
