if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
