Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
