Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize