Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sext me about skeletons
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
