are you so shy because you have an std?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
