Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
