I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
