you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
