"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
