I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
