I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
