Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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