Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
