it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
