She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
