girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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