wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
