im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
is wine microwaveable?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize