you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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