I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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