Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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