so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
