Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
