I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
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