I love black thongs
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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