Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
