I want to stick my p in your. b.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
