i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
