it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Sorry about my life...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
