So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
