y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
