Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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