I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
