did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
