Please, let me fuck your mom
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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