i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
