Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
