found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
