I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
