Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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